Dream: Dick Move

My dreams are screwing with me.
I have had many dreams about Kalifa (mostly bad dreams).  I have definitely dreamt about Lifa more than anyone else ever.  And in all those dreams, it has been pretty much a law that I never get anywhere with her.  We have never been more than friends.  I have never kissed her.  In all of my dreams about Angel, she has not even so much as hugged me.  That is just how it has always been.  I don't get to kiss Angel, not in real life and not in my dreams.  And that was frustrating at the time.  Words cannot express how much I wanted her.  But my dreams dangled her in front of me like a carrot.  And now it has been eight years since I fell for her and I'm over it.  I have a child now.  I am married now.  And yes I still dream about her every now and then but even in my dreams I am over her.  And that's that.  I live my married life on the other side of the state, content to not be assaulted by the constant hunger I had for Lifa.  But after over eight years, after I have finally gotten her out of my head (for the most part; I'll be honest) what happens?

She kissed me.

What the fuck, man. Who writes the script for these dreams?  Can I call you Jack?  I'm gonna call you Jack.  That was a dick move, Jack. DICK... MOVE.  Why now of all times.  Can't you just let me be comfortable (okay just maybe not uncomfortable... not very uncomfortable)?  I've been thinking about her all day.  And I don't think it'll go away.  I should punch you in the face.  You've got me listening to love songs in the car, Jack.  You've got me daydreaming at work, Jack.  I don't have time for this, Jack.  I've got other things to worry about.

Well, as usual, I do not remember how this dream began or ended.  The difference is that I suspect that there may not have been a beginning or an end.  Lifa might have just hit me with a kiss and run.  Dick move, Jack.  Anyways, I was with most of the Eliathah crew outside in the daytime.  It was very bright.  It looked almost like a school campus, a little bit like Forest Lake Academy.  We were all standing together in an almost circular form.  Angel was somewhere to my left, not right next to me but close.  Then she slowly came over to me.  She said something, maybe "Come here" maybe "I need to show you something".  She looked unsure of herself, almost shy.  Did you have to give her such a cute expression, Jack.  When have we ever seen Lifa being shy, Jack.  That was a dick move, Jack.  I was totally not expecting what happened.  She almost jumped on me and pressed her lips against mine.  And we stayed there like that for maybe two seconds.  Then she started sucking on my lips.  I did not know what to do.  I knew I should have pushed her away but I has powerless against her.  I wanted more.  I hesitantly put my arm behind her, unsure if I should hold her.  I finally decided to hold her and put my hand on her back.  But the moment I put pressure she pushed away from me.  What the hell, Jack.  Carrot dangling Jack.  She started slowly walking away from me backwards with the cutest look on her face; she might have been biting her lip.  She said "I just wanted (maybe needed or had) to do that" and then turned and walked away.  Did you have to make her act so unbearably cute, Jack?  What are trying to do to me, Jack?  She made me want more.  She gave me hope where there is none.  As she walked away I just stood there confused.  Well maybe not confused exactly; I was more unsure of my future.  I stood there regretting my life's decisions, wondering what to do next.  I was strongly contemplating leaving my wife for a non insignificant period of time.  I wanted more.  I had wanted this for so long and now it was right there in front of me.  You got me by the balls, Jack.  And I don't even roll like that.

Anyways, I am quite sure the dream ends there.  She just makes out with me in front of all her friends and family and leaves.  End of story.  Except I did have at least two other dreams that I remember nothing about.  The first one may or may not have been at least a little tied to the kiss because I feel as though Chad was in it and if so, the whole crew was probably in it too.  But I do know that is was intolerably depressing.  I woke up after that dream (probably around midnight) and was ready to give up on life.  I went back to sleep quickly and dreamed again.  I think it was light and meaningless but when I did wake up the last time, I was so emotionally exhausted I could not get out of bed.  I just laid there for about an hour.  I did not even remember the kiss until I got up.  But damn, Jack.  You are a very mean person, Jack.