Dream: Crushing Defeat/Paradise

Friday night I had another dream about Angel. I can't remeber how it started but throughout the dream, in every scene Angel was there somewhere. We, the Andersons Nat, Vez and the Fairweathers were hanging out at Chad's house, at Eliathah and some other places I can't remember. There was going to be some event, exactly what I don't remember, but all of us were going and Angel kept talking about it. She was saying something about the man she liked and that she was gonna make a move at the event. She was saying something about a special kiss. Throughout the dream I kept telling myself that it most likely wasn't me and not to get my hopes up but every time she talked about this guy I felt so happy and hopeful. Then at the event, i was there waiting to see who it was, still thinking it wasn't me. there were like three guy sitting close to me watching with me, I specifically remember that Bryan and Chad were two of them. They kept smiling at me, like when someone is about to get a prize but doesn't know it and they're looking at him to see his face when it happens. Some time later she got up and we all knew why. She walked over to Josh's older brother and started making out with him. I had been expecting it to not be me the whole time but it still hurt when I saw it. The pain was excrutiating, I don't remember ever feeling a pain being even close to this. Anyone who says you can't feel pain in a dream is a liar. It hurt so much, I had to get up from where I was sitting, I couldn't watch and I needed to be alone.

Then saturday and sunday night I dreamt about her again, but this time they were good dreams. I don't remember very much about these dreams at all. I just remember the feeling of bliss. I remember us being together, and by together I mean in the same place, throughout the whole of both dreams. Last nights dream was the better of the two. It seemed like we were in another world. What my emotional memories tell me about what happened and what visual memories say don't match at all. I remember seeing us in many different disasters, and then we were just hanging out in some building, nothing special about it. But my emotions during the dream were ecstatic. I can't fully explain it but it felt like I was somewhere else, it felt like I was in some paradise. The feeling seems so familiar to me, but I don't recall having such feeling ever, in the real world or in a dream. But one interesting thing about both dreams is that whenever I would have a moment with Angel, either something in the dream would interupt us or I would wake up before anything could happen. And even more strange is that when I would wake up, I would within seconds go back into the same dream, just nolonger in the same situation with Angel. Its like I was forever prohibited from getting any closer to Angel then friendship.